Tag: Scripture

The Perfect Punchline

Published on by Elizabeth4 Comments

 About four years after Samantha’s accident, I was asked to share my story in front of a group of ladies gathered for lunch. With a normal amount of trepidation, I accepted the invitation and immediately went to work.

For weeks my mornings were spent filtering through topics and praying about what God wanted me to share. There was so much wisdom gained to sort through, truths that were revealed to me that I could retell and healing that had happened to give others hope that hours of silence were necessary for me to discern what I was suppose to do.

Eventually, the swirl of possible subject matters to cover changed into confirmation of the wisdom I was to impart. So, I went about recording my experience with written words. Erasing, replacing and adding explanations defined my actions as I polished and punctuated  what I planned to say.

Paragraph after paragraph I wrote, weaving my experience together with the teachings of speechwriting1the scripture. The more I recorded on paper, the more I realized how much my life was healed and made whole by the Holy words written so long ago.  There were many influences that provided support while I recovered, but none more powerful and
moving than the passages left by the Holiest of Priests. Surely, they saved me from the graveyard of grief.

My speech was almost complete, yet it lacked the final punch that would bring it full circle. I ached to emphasize to those in attendance how powerful God’s word had been to my healing, how it told me the best way to respond to my own emotions, how it guided me when dealing with others and how it confirmed that throughout human history God’s people suffered, but were always saved.

So I sat down and scoured The Bible for a passage that supported my experience, to see if what had happened to me, that is finding hope in God’s word, was meant to happen. From past experience, my faith has always grown when I look back and see my life played out as the scripture predicts. I had always heard it would happen, but I sought written Biblical confirmation that the scriptures possessed the power to change a person.

Sitting Indian style curled in a corner of my couch, I scoured the thin pages of The Holy Book. Flipping and flapping and finally, I simply split the pages in half and started reading right there. That is when I found the perfect punch line to round out my written words. I chuckled when I read it because it was right on.

“My son, pay attention to what I say, turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.”

Proverbs 4:20-22 (NIV)

Bingo, there it was with instructions on what to do with the Holy Writ, as well as what kind of outcome we can expect when we obey.

May it be, that by hearing these instructions written by the wise King Solomon that you may be open and altered by the powerful force of God’s written Word. I certainly was!

 

Seeds or Weeds

Published on by Elizabeth3 Comments

The 6th scripture in this series literally, saved me from myself.

Honestly, without the straightforward instructions of what was best to think about, surely I  would have succumbed to a wicked way of thinking.

I know the severity of my circumstances warranted my thoughts wander that way.

The halting fact is that following an afternoon of innocent family fun, I came home minus one family member. Adding insult to injury, my daughter’s death was a result of another’s carelessness. We would not be a family of three, if a driver of an oncoming boat had simply paid attention when they turned a corner. In essence, I suffer a lifelong loss because of someone else’s split second lackadaisical decision.

I realize this is a dangerous mindset to dabble in. Just writing about the actuality of it all makes me uncomfortable and  I don’t like reliving this part of the experience. As well, I know not to rely on only earthly details to interpret the relevance of these events, the spiritual story is by far the most powerful.

I dare not linger here long, for I have learned how unwise it is to hang out with painful thoughts of the past. However, there is no denying the reality of what happened. As well, what was mentally required to work through.

I was wronged, when doing right! And, it felt like fireworks that had backfired!

Instead, of looking up and out, celebrating the occasion, I was left feeling the brazing burn. The unexpected and misplaced explosion left me pierced by flying shrapnel and searching for answers among the rubble. There wasn’t a shred of my life that escaped the scorching embers of anguish. My emotional state mimicked my agony, as sorrow and grief overwhelmed me. My mental state was equally as stressed allowing sharpness and hostility to shape my  thoughts.

I wish I could say it didn’t happen! However, if I am to be honest, I need to admit it did. On many occasions because of bitterness building in my heart, I found my reflections aiming fiery arrows at others. I poised myself for battle against people, against the world and against any good thought. I even loaded my quiver and aimed my insults at God. On my worst days when I was really ticked off about what happened, I caught myself silently beating up on strangers, as well.

If I saw a mother act exasperated towards a crying child, I unsympathetically squabbled under my breathe, “You wouldn’t get so frustrated if you realized in a split second she could be gone.” If I heard a parent fuss about their child not making a certain team or a certain score, “I would rant to myself, ” Really, can’t you just be thankful she is still here?” When the pain was at it’s most intense, I even had the audacity to call out God and question His decisions. During my nighttime prayer ritual, instead of sinking into sleep, I was railing against my Savior,”What were you thinking, taking her away? I was raising her to be one of yours! How can you think it is OK to do that?”

The reality that someone killed Sam held me captive for quite sometime. I was angry, I felt assaulted and left with no means to improve my situation. That meaning, I couldn’t figure out a way to get Samantha back. She was gone and that was that! For quite sometime, I fought these demons on a daily basis. Whether in public or in private, my tumultuous thoughts fought to control the tender side of myself. I didn’t like any of it, but I lacked the ability to find my way out of the thicket of thorny thoughts.

At some point, I was given the wisdom that lashing out at others (even if it was only in my mind) because of my personal loss only served to prolong and seeds-or-weedsstretch the pain. Carrying the loss of Sam was epic. Couple that burden with constant condemnation of others and I was setting myself up for failure. Furthermore, because I never voiced my vile, I was the only one caught up in the additional mess.

It is even more difficult to confess that I was aware I was acting out on the inside. I knew using my mental energy to be mad was exasperating the trauma. Nonetheless, I didn’t have a tool powerful enough to tame my destructive thoughts. They entered my psyche without permission and before I knew it the negativity had taken control of my conscience.

However, my psychological situation improved once Philippians 4:8 was revealed to me.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

After processing the teaching in the scripture, I realized what I was doing wrong. Oh, I knew about the advertised advantages of positive thinking. I was aware many authors, speakers and advertisements promoted this tool to live a good life. What I’m saying is I knew all along being positive was important, but what I didn’t fully comprehend nor give appropriate reverence to was that the Authority above all authorities authored the instructions.

Immediately, I went to work trying to figure out how the words were speaking to my situation. By pulling the scripture apart and researching each phrase, I realized I played a huge part in my own healing.

I learned being dreadful or joyful doesn’t rest on the actions of others. Instead, I began to understand that it is an ongoing work from within.

In addition, when I visualized God Almighty sitting down to personally advise me concerning the power of my thoughts, the message took on a deeper meaning. It became clear that in order to receive God’s promises of peace, I needed to uphold my end of the bargain. That being, to assess every situation with the eyes of an angel.

By doing this, the waves of chaos in my inner world calmed down and God willing, eventually will cease. No longer will my gaze at the world be seen forever through the eyes of grief. Instead, Jesus is instructing me how to control my mind so I can calmly and gently walk in His will.

He is letting me know that if I try to live a lifetime without Sam thinking my own thoughts, the outcome will not be rewarding. Oh, the goodness of God that He doesn’t leave me defenseless! Instead, He shows me how to parallel my thoughts with His and offers assurance that if we share the same mindset, together we will see it through!

The discipline to recognize and resist each needling notion is a process and continues to be one that I work to improve. The self-control to implement the wisdom into my ways constantly requires a keen awareness of my thoughts and a great amount of grace from Above, which I know I can count on.

From that past point of realization all the way to today, I  implement the thought pattern approved by Jesus and taught through Philippians 4:8 in order to diminish the ongoing and dangerous thoughts of doubt, damnation and dissatisfaction. When I do, this allows reflections of affirmation, adoration and excellence  to flourish.brain-flowers

By doing this, by accepting and allowing the instruction of the scripture to change my poisonous thought patterns into ideas of gratefulness and abundance, I position myself to receive the peace that God promises to His people.

 

Thank you Jesus, for always showing me how to walk in Your will, for always providing a peaceful way out , for always bathing me in Your grace and for saving me from myself.

Amen

 

Paying Attention Pays Off

Published on by Elizabeth2 Comments

“But now, this is what the Lord says …“paying-attention

Immediately, I knew I needed to pay attention!
Whether it was one of those times I was flipping through the Bible searching for something soothing to read, or maybe it was while I was completing a study assignment, I honestly can’t recall.

Five years later, I have discovered the environment doesn’t matter because the message remains with me.

On any given day, I can reread this third scripture, Isaiah 43:1-2 and sense the same reassurance I did during the most crushing of circumstances. Like then, the passage paints a picture of God speaking over his people, over all of Israel, over an entire nation. Yet, He gets personal to the point of calling Jacob by his first name.

“-he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel:”

With anticipation and selfish motivation, then and now I involve myself in what is to come. I insert my name in the scripture and imagine myself sitting among the crowd gathered to listen. Surely, my ache is similar to theirs. The people of God were overwrought with affliction and I could relate. They were oppressed and I understood. They were afraid and I felt similar trepidation about my future. Eons of time has passed between the persecution of  God’s people and my personal time of distress. Nomine-blkandwhtnetheless, our emotions are strikingly similar.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”

As I weaved myself into the words, I first heard a commandment that erased fear as an option. Then a play on personal pronouns granted full authority to the author and placed me under arrest.

I felt myself being calmed, individually called and intimately claimed by Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ was calming me, individually calling me and intimately claiming  me. – Tweet This!

I was certain, He was calling the shots. I had very little to say and saw no wiggle room to run away.

Instead, I stayed still, in awe of His possessiveness and allowed this spiritual branding to sear on my heart. It was then, I realized this had nothing to do with something I did. Instead, as I mingled with God’s message I accepted this was an act from On High.

God had tagged me for His team. All I needed to do was accept the bid. And then came the promise of God’s presence during times of trial.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

Oh, it is in this ending of the scripture that I found and find strength.

Yes, raging waters have threatened to erode anything good left in my life. Yes, swift rising rivers have rushed through, wrecking havoc in their wake. I have felt the searing flames of a bundle of torches burning at my feet. On occasion, I begged to leave this world, when grief and trauma were most intense. Yes, I thought death would have been a relief. That is the severity of suffering that some of us are called to experience.

But, thankfully, no I mean really, I am grateful for the promise of help during our hurt that is found in

Isaiah 43:1-2 (NIV)the-book-of-isaiah

But now, this is what the Lord says—                        
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Because, through it I learned:

Panic and doubt don’t happen during a time of crisis if we place our trust in the right place.

Regardless of what grief and trauma “feel” like, God is not gone. He is actually the One keeping me from going under.

That the only way I can withstand the epic adversity of life is to accept the truth of scripture. By doing this, I believed Samantha’s death would not also be the death of me. That somehow, I would come out on the other side of pain and be a better person. That was a tall  order on some days, but because I hung onto every word written in  Isaiah 43:1-2, I was able to see it through.

But, most importantly, I learned as I figure out life with a gaping hole in my family I can always rely on the scriptures to sustain me, to tell me what I need to hear to be whole, to reveal to me what I need to know when I can’t find my way and to always comfort me when I want to cry.

Points to Ponder

Have you ever panicked during a time of distress? If so, what words did you rely on to help bring about calmness during the crisis?

Have you ever felt like God wasn’t around while you suffered? If so, after the storm passed, when did you realize He was the One carrying you through?

Have you ever felt the security that comes from knowing the scriptures during a time of struggle? If so, when was this and what scriptures served to sustain you?

 

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Trauma … Take Two

Published on by Elizabeth6 Comments

cinema clipboard 1

“PTSD from Katrina kicking in, smells that you can never imagine. Every house has lost everything including at least 2 cars. Y’all pray for Louisiana!!!

When I saw this Facebook status posted alongside a photo of piled up debris, I knew I wasn’t the only one sliding backwards.

For so many affected by the recent floods in the Baton Rouge/Lafayette area, this current cataclysmic event is a flashback to the aftermath of some other natural disaster experienced or overwhelming sense of loss incurred. Whether it is the smell of sweltering garbage, the reality of all of your belongings stacked in a heap on the curb in front of your house, the loss of a loved one to the raging flood waters or possible even a beloved pet, the triggers all point to the same underlying issue.

TRAUMA – an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident or natural disaster. A traumatic event or situation creates psychological trauma when it overwhelms the individual’s ability to cope.

water rescueWould it be surprising to know that the above list didn’t do it for me? Rather, it was the process of saving the people and the water recovery that sent me reeling backwards. The scenes of boats racing over the water, men in life jackets intent on rescue and helicopters overhead that pulled me to a painful place. The scenes were so familiar and carried a past so stressful that it felt like a smoldering piece of metal piercing my heart every time I saw a picture.

Physical symptoms of distress began to manifest as tears trickled down my cheeks while out for a walk, I noticed myself upset and unsettled in the evenings when it was time to relax and I began waking up in the wee hours of the morning because my mind was racing with thoughts. The third time I confessed to David, “I feel like tears are filling my ears and a bulge of emotions is blocking my throat.” I knew I needed to stop with the activity and devote some time to myself.

 It was then, in the stillness of assessing what was messing with my head and in turn twisting my heart that a light was shown on what I was going through. I realized something happening in my current environment was causing me to look backwards, to revisit, to relive, to revive an extraordinarily painful time in my life.

ptss

Oh, and I was guilty of “going there” and walking in defeat for a few days. I withdrew from helping with relief efforts out of sheer self-protection. I sought refuge from the chaos by seeking calm environments. Honestly, being in the disarray of recovery mixed me up mentally. As well, reopened an emotional wound I would rather leave untouched. My empathy overflowed at the overwhelming sense of loss that so many are experiencing to the point I couldn’t concentrate. I know what it feels like to have your life turned upside down and scattered like a 10,000 piece puzzle.

Truly, being amidst the shambles was causing me to stumble.

(I wish I could say it isn’t so, that I’m stronger than that, that I can handle any situation that comes my way. Instead, I’m realizing I can’t. Nor, am I called, too. )

So, in an effort to find my way out of the slimy pit that I sunk into, I began to pay attention to myself and worked to mentally challenge the triggers. I made a concerted effort to turn off the memories that possessed the potential to wreck my well-being. As I used the tools in my trauma toolbox to help me cope, room was made in my mind to remember what served to save me during my personal season of trauma.

Yes, during that time God showed up in miraculous ways on numerous days, but it was His Word that carried me through the tedious times. When fear, anxiety, stress, and uncertainty arose (symptoms of PTSS)  I recited, chanted, sung, wrote, read and clung to God’s written word, knowing that through it He shares His wisdom with us, that He teaches us the perspective He wants us to adopt and that He states the promises we can trust in.

Sams Bible

The longer I sat, the more grateful I became for the time and foresight to regain my composure. As I rested, a sense of urgency swelled inside of me to reread the scriptures that were earmarked with a sticky note in Samantha’s Bible. The ones that I had repeated over and over, the ones I read then implemented in my own life, the ones I trusted in, the ones that encouraged me to take another step and the ones that promised a fruitful future after profound loss.

Ahhhh, rest, renewal and reassurance soothed my heart. Words that served to revive me before where breathing life into me again. Text that brought dominion and order over this world were doing it again. Passages that promised God’s presence and offered hope were pouring into my spirit again.

Yes, God’s Word had gotten me through a season of personal trauma. And, it was doing it again!

I invite you to journey with me over the next few weeks as I share ten scriptures that serve to sustain me. Along, with how, when, where and why they work for me. Whether it is past or present circumstances doesn’t make a difference. What is important to remember is God’s Word is living and actionable in all situations and it works!

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Matthew 4:4

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:31-32

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Matthew 7:24

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