Tag: wisdom

Believing in Beautiful …

Published on by Elizabeth6 Comments

“Mom, what does God tell you about all this?”, Brooke asked as she scanned the shelves of the refrigerator. It looked as though Brooke was searching for something to eat, whenrefrigerator asking this fateful question, But, deep inside I knew she was seeking so much more.

When life takes a sudden shift, the new set of circumstances creates a myriad of unanswered questions. Brooke was searching for solid ground. She was attempting to create a feeling of security by collecting information and threading together the knowledge she would gain. Then, I knew, because it is human tendency, she would go on to mentally map out potential outcomes, to create scenarios that sounded good and to carve out a story she created.

Standing on the other side of the kitchen counter, I longed to paint the easiest picture for her; one where everything goes just right and everyone involved is immediately  excited. Her heart has been broken before, I find myself wanting to knee-jerk to protect her from any more.

However, I simply didn’t have the authority to do that. I didn’t have any facts to share. Nor, was there a road map to refer to. Yes, this next God appointed adventure guaranteed a tremendous amount of uncertainty.

Even though it wasn’t voiced, I think Brooke subconsciously knew this. She knew I couldn’t predict the future. Nor, how it would unfold. Hence, in her wisdom and quest for something solid she aimed her question towards my Savior and the counsel He might offer.

Immediately, I was grateful she knew I would seek God’s advice.  And, be interested in what He had to say. She acknowledged and honored the relationship I had with Him.

And, that is when I knew I was time to share what had settled in my heart. For days, I had rumbled with how God wanted me to respond to this new  unexpected blessing. Trust me, as beautiful and unbelievable as it is, it held the power to shake the trusted ties that united our weathered family.

Rounding the edge of the counter, I walked towards Brooke and stopped in front of the stove. By now, her perusal for food had ended and she turned toward me with her full attention.

I paused before I answered. Not because I didn’t have an answer. God had already given me His sense of response before Brooke ever inquired about our inner conversations. Instead, I took a second before responding so the air would settle and my words could be heard.

Surmising the fore coming series of events and the twisting and turning it would take to assimilate and comprehend this new chapter of life was impossible. But better than giving Brooke a sense of security by speculating on earthly events, I affirmed Who I would follow.  Therefore, laying a solid foundation for all things going forward.

“Brooke, God has made it very clear to me that all of this can stay very uncomplicated if I, we simply love. That is all there is too it, simply love.”, I explained.

We continued our conversation of Christ’s instructions. I chose my words carefully to get Brooke to accept the truth that God doesn’t want us to search for answers, to predict actions nor to find security in knowing the outcome before it happens.

Instead, He asks us to move forward in faith. To be OK with not knowing everything. And, to trust that as we make room for the Holy Spirit to move , everything falls into place.

Watching with spiritual eyes, I was acutely aware of the interchange unfolding and was totally consumed with sharing the wisdom …

Control does not guarantee comfort. Instead, it is the power of Jesus that brings peace!

Brooke seemed satisfied with my reply, that the message  left for us in 1 Corinthians 13:13:

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” would see us through.

With ease, she twisted toward the simmering pan and started to rhythmically stir.  Inches apart, we stood still, both feeling the security of God’s sovereignty. But, the goodness didn’t end there because I had more to share.

“Brooke, there is something else I sense.” I said, recapturing her attention. With the wooden spoon in her hand, she turned and readied herself to receive.

Feeding her soul, I shared “The spirit inside of me says, don’t flinch and have absolutely no fear!”  I expounded on God’s guidance wanting Brooke to understand that as we stepped into this next leg of life it was important for me, for her for all of us to cast off any thought that might prevent us from fully embracing the fullness of what was yet to be.

Holding back because something might go wrong was not going to work.

Brooke relaxed into the words, her shoulders inched down and the edges of her lips inched up. She understood that if we allowed love and the Spirit of Christ to set our course, that bumpy it might be.

But because of Jesus we could believe in beautiful!

 

Romans 8:28

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

KJV

 

Believe in beautiful

 

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What I Have Been Reading …

Published on by Elizabeth1 Comment

lizs-library

Immediately, the title caught my attention!

All at once, I knew I needed to read it!

As I sat on my neighbor’s sofa, my sparked curiosity steered our conversation off course.

In the middle of a casual “Q and A” visit concerning the holidays and how they went and where they were spent, I abruptly interjected, “Jan, have you read this book?” 

“Yes, I have!” my enthused neighbor responded.  “It was  so good, I finished it two days!” she added.

Her quick confirmation of quality and content served to solidify my desire to delve into the written work.

Relief  washed over me as  Jan extended her hand and said, “Here, you can borrow this copy.”

Gratitude was my next emotion as I realized a trip to the bookstore wouldn’t be required. Instead, I tidied up the loose ends of our tete-a-tete and hurriedly headed back home. 

As I said goodbye to my friend, I had a very good idea how the next few hours of my time would be spent. Yes, there was a sense of urgency to pull back the cover of the paperback book I had just borrowed. 

Actually, my spirit was begging me to settle down and see what author Nicki Koziarz had to say.

You see, my personal circumstances  were unfolding in such a way, I felt desperate for the message she promised to deliver. The month of December is notoriously loaded with trauma triggers. Add on another huge and unexpected life event and I felt like throwing in the towel. 

Honestly, I was running on empty, until a copy of 

updated-5-habits

was placed in my hands.

Praise God for meeting  me right where I was!!

He knew I needed a helping hand!

He knew I needed to hear His voice!

He knew my resolve would be refined through the story of Ruth!

And, indeed it was!

From page 1 to 191, this book is overflowing with lessons to be learned, wisdom to be received and encouragement to be felt. And, all shared through a fresh perspective of the Bible.

Nuggets of sound thinking like:

“A committed woman learns to choose what she wants most over what she wants now.”

“Momentary feelings will always try to convince us to forfeit out faith.”

“Sometimes discouragement is brought on by our own decisions of disobedience.”

are plentiful and poignant.

As well, “The 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit” laid out by Nicki are relatable and sure to bring about results.

As stated on the back cover, “If you are in need of an honest conversation on how not to give in to the temptation to give up”, this book is your best bet!  And, it gets even better because there is a Bible Study offered  as well!

I love how Karen Ehman, New York Times best-selling author of Keep It Shut and LET. IT. GO., Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker, wife, mother, and recovering quitter puts it –

If you are a quitter who longs to quit quitting, this is your God-sent solution!

Amen and I agree!

Be blessed as Nicki’s thoughts breathe words of resolution and refinement into the areas of our lives where we are tempted to throw in the towel!

( When the time is right, when I feel whole and healthy, I think I will be able to reveal my next “Assignment of Refinement.” However, for now I’m choosing to surrender, keep silent and listen to  what Jesus has to say.)

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When WHY? was My War Cry!

Published on by Elizabeth3 Comments

The 9th scripture in the series has so many commas this it seems convoluted. With 40 words to read and 6 commas to separate, it sounds like a short order cook spouting off a series of confusing commands.

(I know it isn’t, I’m simply referencing what it sounds like!)

Therefore, I find it ironic that as twisted as it seems, it served as the ultimate solution to a question that constantly served to confound me.

WHY?

Oh man, did I get stuck in this wicked way of thinking, always trying to understand everything, constantly caught up in the quests for complete explanations and the insatiable desire to resolve all the loose ends.

David pleaded with me not to do this. “Elizabeth, stop thinking that way! It serves no purpose other than to frustrate you on top of everything else!” he would howl as I burrowed down to figure things out. He warned me I was on my way down a rabbit hole. However, on my own I was unable to stop this tangled way of thinking.

Heavy questions like:

WHY did Sam have to die?

WHY did I get picked to lose a child? and

WHY, when she was only 12? (Couldn’t I have had a little longer?)

caused a certain circular thinking inside of my head. I would start by pleading against the question.Then, mentally I played out every scenario that might provide an answer, only to find myself at the end of it all, empty handed. I sat, grasping my head with my hands and pressing my fingers into my scalp as I repeated the identical question over and over.

WHY?        WHY?        WHY?          

You get the idea! I tried to claw and scratch my way into insight. I desperately wanted to know what God was thinking when all of this happened. As well, I thought knowing all the details would make me happy.

The mental interrogation aimed at acquiring all the answers made my mind resemble a war zone. Already hazy and dazed, the additional Why’s flew around like bullets in my brain slicing through an active battlefield. However, rather than the rapid fire ending the life of a certain thought process, the unanswerable questions ricochet off of the walls of reasoning and shattered my own well-being..

why

Not once did my quest for solutions to questions that had no answers improve my situation. In addition, I was grew aware the question “WHY?” was making everything worse. Mentally my mind was more mixed up and my spirit was exhausted from trying to work my way to intellectual interpretation.

Thankfully, like so many times during my healing, God used His words to carve some sense into my thinking. However, trauma has a way of scrambling your brain for months and months, reading was a struggle, comprehension next to impossible. Therefore, I really had to slow things down to understand this scripture:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 4:6-7

Separating it into phrases clarified each set of instructions and set me on a path to straighter thinking. With my own words at work, I imagined what God might say to me through this scripture. When I broke the segments apart, my interpretation went something like this:

Do not be anxious about anything, – “Elizabeth, you don’t need to be bedeviled by all this. However, I already know how you are going to act when you are confronted with a situation you can’t understand. So let Me remind you, rather than worrying, fretting and working to find answers you will only be told when you get to Heaven, there is another way of dealing with all of this.”

But, in every situation, – What I want you to understand is, no matter how twisted things seem, whatever it is you want to understand, but can’t explain, no matter what the circumstances are that make you ask, “Why?” …

By prayer and petition – I want you to come talk to Me about it. Let Me know how you feel, tell Me the desires of your heart and ask Me to meet your needs. Know that a wrestling match is OK as you work to accept what aren’t able to understand.

With Thanksgiving – And while we are wrestling, don’t forget to worship.  Be grateful I’m here to listen and to offer help. Let me know the things you are thankful for. By doing this, you will become aware that some things are going right and that I AM already at work.

Present your requests to God – And, when you talk to me don’t just give me a laundry list of desires and details. Instead, I want to hear from your soul, so I can heal your spirit. It is important to turn your troubles over to Me, then to trust I will institute the best outcome. Please understand, there isn’t a man on earth that can work all this out.

After many slowed readings, I began to understand, it was only after I fulfilled God’s instructions, then and only then could I experience His reward. As always, a relationship works from both ends.

The first sentence in the scripture clearly told me what I had to do.

I accepted, I needed to honor and adhere to His ways!!!!!!

The second sentence in the scripture told me what I could expect, if and when I followed Jesus’ ways.

Only then, would my heart be healed with an everlasting hope.

And the peace of God – And I promise, the sensation you will experience will be like nothing the world has to offer. You won’t have a high like buying a brand new race car. Instead, you will have a sense of unity on the inside, a sense of being connected to something bigger than yourself, a sense of agreement with others and a peacefulness concerning your purpose. It is vital to remember, I AM the only one who can promise this phenomenon. It only happens when you let ME handle it.

Which transcends all understanding – Then, after you do as I say and experience contentment with your circumstances, your need to have answers will gradually go away, the desire to understand all things will disintegrate and instead of asking WHY? you will rise above the need for earthly interpretation. Replacing your constant quest for details, will be close companionship with Me. (THIS WAS MY AH-HA MOMENT)

Will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ. – And when you are in this peaceful state of mind, your thoughts and concerns will become mine to tangle with. Therefore, leaving your soul and sanity in a state of rest.

There isn’t much more to report after this. Once I pieced the passage back together, I understood what I had to do. And that is where the action comes in.

Reading the words and understanding their meaning, simply laid out the plan and made me aware of the promise. Next, I had to put into play my part of the equation.

I hated when WHY? had the upper hand.  Therefore, I went to work handing over control to Christ, by honoring and implementing the Great Counselor’s wise direction and it work!!!

No longer is WHY? my war cry.

Instead, peace of heart, peace of mind and peace of soul is my proclamation!

Yes, this requires work and a daily devotion to my Deliverer. Yes, I must follow Jesus’ detailed, yet straightforward instructions so that I can taste the reward.

Mental and emotional discipline is required, but living free from anxiety makes it well worth it!

Truly, I have experienced that complete TRUST in Christ, wipes away the wrestling need to know WHY?

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Trauma … Take Two

Published on by Elizabeth6 Comments

cinema clipboard 1

“PTSD from Katrina kicking in, smells that you can never imagine. Every house has lost everything including at least 2 cars. Y’all pray for Louisiana!!!

When I saw this Facebook status posted alongside a photo of piled up debris, I knew I wasn’t the only one sliding backwards.

For so many affected by the recent floods in the Baton Rouge/Lafayette area, this current cataclysmic event is a flashback to the aftermath of some other natural disaster experienced or overwhelming sense of loss incurred. Whether it is the smell of sweltering garbage, the reality of all of your belongings stacked in a heap on the curb in front of your house, the loss of a loved one to the raging flood waters or possible even a beloved pet, the triggers all point to the same underlying issue.

TRAUMA – an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident or natural disaster. A traumatic event or situation creates psychological trauma when it overwhelms the individual’s ability to cope.

water rescueWould it be surprising to know that the above list didn’t do it for me? Rather, it was the process of saving the people and the water recovery that sent me reeling backwards. The scenes of boats racing over the water, men in life jackets intent on rescue and helicopters overhead that pulled me to a painful place. The scenes were so familiar and carried a past so stressful that it felt like a smoldering piece of metal piercing my heart every time I saw a picture.

Physical symptoms of distress began to manifest as tears trickled down my cheeks while out for a walk, I noticed myself upset and unsettled in the evenings when it was time to relax and I began waking up in the wee hours of the morning because my mind was racing with thoughts. The third time I confessed to David, “I feel like tears are filling my ears and a bulge of emotions is blocking my throat.” I knew I needed to stop with the activity and devote some time to myself.

 It was then, in the stillness of assessing what was messing with my head and in turn twisting my heart that a light was shown on what I was going through. I realized something happening in my current environment was causing me to look backwards, to revisit, to relive, to revive an extraordinarily painful time in my life.

ptss

Oh, and I was guilty of “going there” and walking in defeat for a few days. I withdrew from helping with relief efforts out of sheer self-protection. I sought refuge from the chaos by seeking calm environments. Honestly, being in the disarray of recovery mixed me up mentally. As well, reopened an emotional wound I would rather leave untouched. My empathy overflowed at the overwhelming sense of loss that so many are experiencing to the point I couldn’t concentrate. I know what it feels like to have your life turned upside down and scattered like a 10,000 piece puzzle.

Truly, being amidst the shambles was causing me to stumble.

(I wish I could say it isn’t so, that I’m stronger than that, that I can handle any situation that comes my way. Instead, I’m realizing I can’t. Nor, am I called, too. )

So, in an effort to find my way out of the slimy pit that I sunk into, I began to pay attention to myself and worked to mentally challenge the triggers. I made a concerted effort to turn off the memories that possessed the potential to wreck my well-being. As I used the tools in my trauma toolbox to help me cope, room was made in my mind to remember what served to save me during my personal season of trauma.

Yes, during that time God showed up in miraculous ways on numerous days, but it was His Word that carried me through the tedious times. When fear, anxiety, stress, and uncertainty arose (symptoms of PTSS)  I recited, chanted, sung, wrote, read and clung to God’s written word, knowing that through it He shares His wisdom with us, that He teaches us the perspective He wants us to adopt and that He states the promises we can trust in.

Sams Bible

The longer I sat, the more grateful I became for the time and foresight to regain my composure. As I rested, a sense of urgency swelled inside of me to reread the scriptures that were earmarked with a sticky note in Samantha’s Bible. The ones that I had repeated over and over, the ones I read then implemented in my own life, the ones I trusted in, the ones that encouraged me to take another step and the ones that promised a fruitful future after profound loss.

Ahhhh, rest, renewal and reassurance soothed my heart. Words that served to revive me before where breathing life into me again. Text that brought dominion and order over this world were doing it again. Passages that promised God’s presence and offered hope were pouring into my spirit again.

Yes, God’s Word had gotten me through a season of personal trauma. And, it was doing it again!

I invite you to journey with me over the next few weeks as I share ten scriptures that serve to sustain me. Along, with how, when, where and why they work for me. Whether it is past or present circumstances doesn’t make a difference. What is important to remember is God’s Word is living and actionable in all situations and it works!

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Matthew 4:4

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:31-32

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Matthew 7:24

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What I’ve Been Reading

Published on by Elizabeth3 Comments

lizs-library

“Elizabeth, you need to read this book!” my friend exclaimed.

“Ok!” I replied, showing my openness to be inspired.

“The story is about a family from Bogalusa, LA, right here, in our own backyard,” my friend continued as she bobbled the book in front of my face. Her jerky movements were meant to get my attention and keep me engaged.

“Elizabeth, you know how this story came into print?” she asked pinching her voice to make a point. I rounded my lips to respond, but didn’t have enough time for a sound to form.

In a split second, I realized my friend had no intention of hearing from me. Instead, she was determined to move her end of the conversation forward and motivate me.

“Rebecca, the author of the book was sharing her story during a Bible Study. The people in attendance were so moved by what they heard they convinced her to write the story down. Elizabeth, God took it from there, leading Rebecca on a path to get it published,” she added.

“You know, the same thing is going to happen to you!” she punctuated her words with firmness.

I nodded my head to let her know I was listening. As well, I received her words of encouragement because I needed them. I am beginning to learn there is nothing easy about publishing a book. Besides the writing process that is required, there is a social media platform that must be built (YUCK!) and many rejection letters to be received before finding the right publisher, all of which have stretched me beyond myself.

However, anything that I am feeling in the department of discomfort pales in comparison to what Rebecca and her family were called to endure. As I read, The Devil in Pew Number Seven, I was reminded of the pain Christians are often time called to endure. Surely, the Nichols family suffered their fair share. Often times when reading, I thought more than what they could possibly handle. Fear, persecution and feeling hated played a part in their journey. They were constantly harassed, bombs were set off near their home and a broken glass window pane shattered on top of their newborn son.

As difficult as it was to read, God’s grace in the lives of these people was ever present. Rebecca is honest about the scars that are left on her family. However, she doesn’t park herself there and hang onto the pain that was inflicted on her nor, the family she loved.

Instead, she moves past the affliction and learns how to forgive. She isn’t shy about sharing the struggles. However her ending emphasis is one of deliverance. Ultimately, she shares a story of survival. Therefore, allowing her readers to tag along with her as she breaks the chains of trauma, allowing her to live a life of freedom.

If you can imagine, when I turned the last page, I found a gentle smile on my face.

Oh, yes I ached on the inside and my empathy was in over drive!

However, the message that I walked away with is Forgiveness is the Answer to Freedom. In the end, Rebecca’s faith allowed her to heal after living through a season of scarring. Then as the years past, she was led to a place of peace about what had happened.

On top of that, she took the time to write down her experience so that another person could glean from the wisdom she gained, be inspired by her perseverance and to illustrate an example that faith in Jesus Christ works.

Thank you Rebecca for showing me how it is done. You made yourself vulnerable and for that I appreciate you. You kept my eyes on the cross as you walked me through your crisis. As well, you showered me with hope, love and faith all the way to the end.

A few days later, during a quick phone call my precious yet pesky friend asked “And, how did you like the book?”  “It was unbelievable and reading it was good for so many reasons,” I started my response. Quickly sucking air through my nostrils, I readied myself to unleash all that I reaped by reading Rebecca’s book. Unlike our last conversation, this time I had plenty to say. “You were right,” I confirmed to my loving phone caller. “Reading her story inspires me! Seeing her story in printed form lets me know publishing can happen for little ole’ me living in Mandeville and her faith journey has nourished the hope inside of my heart.” I added.

Before we hung up, I ended our conversation with,”You know, it is my prayer, that one day I could touch as many lives as Rebecca has.”

Here’s to hoping Sam was Here … (my proposed book title) will be used in the same way.”

Be blessed as you read this book:

The Devil in Pew Number Seven

 

 

 

Dear Lord,

Guide me as I try to do the same good work as Rebecca. I know, just as she does, that you are present in all things and that what occurs in our lives will be worked for good. Help me as I work to record your presence in the middle of my mayhem. Possess my writing so that my words are interesting, easily understood and carry your message of healing. I ask that you open doors wide so that I can step through them. I ask that you lead me to the places, to the people  and to the publisher that are waiting for me to arrive, so that together  we can send forth your message of hope.

Amen

Lessons in Everyday Life

Published on by Elizabeth4 Comments

beach

The sun was shining and the waves were rolling in. David and I sat in lounge chairs, protected from the afternoon heat by a large blue and white striped canvas umbrella. Our seats were angled just a tad, allowing me a bird’s eye view of the family to my right.

Yes, we were at the beach and I was relaxed. The crew next to me, not so much, taking little ones to the beach can turn into a lot of work. I witnessed this as the parents lathered three little bodies with ample amounts of sunscreen. Then, the older boy called out, “Mom, can you help me find my goggles?” I looked on; her shoulders dropped as she pulled herself out of the folding beach chair slung close to the sand. Plodding through the shifting granules of the beach floor, she reach into their overstuffed straw bag and rifled under the brightly colored beach towels. Fumbling her fingers on the bottom of the rattan sack, relieved, she called across to her son, “I found them.” Minutes later her brood of hungry beach goers begged for a snack, along with asking for an ice cold bottle of water. Eventually, everyone was appeased enough to play.

Father and sons frolicked in the waves. Mom stole a few minutes of rest and read a book. Their third child, wearing a sunhat as big as a serving saucer, quietly played in the sand. Her little fingers sifted through the mixture of shiny and matte, tan colored crystals. She poked a plastic shovel into miniature sand dunes and flung what she scochild playing in the sand 2oped up over her soft rounded shoulder. Bowing over her personal playground, she was satisfied and oblivious to the wonder surrounding her. The majesty and motion of the ocean were just steps away. The
seagulls that decorated and danced in the sky were straight above her head. The rays of the sun that warmed the sand were on display behind her back. However, she was calm, content and carefree. Why would anyone want to interrupt such a peaceful scene? Especially one that involved a toddler.

With a peaceful heart, I watched the family drama unfold. The father’s aqua swimming trunks clung to his muscular thighs as he trotted away from the entertainment of the ocean. His quickened steps through the hot sand were aimed towards the youngest of his clan. Without warning and from behind, he tucked one strong hand under the youngster’s pudgy little armpit and slid his other muscular appendage under her diaper clad bottom. Lifting her into his safe embrace, he must have had good reason to disturb her.

Immediately, his daughter didn’t like it. She erupted into a fountain of tears that stung her pink cheeks and rapidly flashed her legs in an attempt to wrangle herself from his firm
dad and little girl in the wavesgrip. I believe, she liked what she was doing and saw no good reason to leave. The father held her tight and took a second to tenderly whisper a few words into her tiny ear. Whatever he said, didn’t work. Despite her two year old protest, he carried her towards the crystal blue waters of the nearby aquatic playground. He knew there were seashells to see, fish to find and the waves offered pure enjoyment, serving up splashes and sprays of cooling mist as they lapped up against the sandy shores. However, the unexpected interruption bringing her to a different place to play was not well received by the independent and absorbed young girl.

Initially, I chuckled at the unnecessary upheaval of an otherwise serene setting. As a mother watching from afar, my first thought was, “You should have just left her alone. She was perfectly happy just playing in the sand.”

Then, the Holy Spirit stood up and clamored for control, posing for battle against my average thoughts. This sacred part of me, which invites me to see the world through the eyes of Jesus began to write it’s version of what was going on across the ticker tape of thoughts passing through my brain. I sensed God was urging me to see below the surface. Within in seconds, I found myself asking,”What should I learn from this scene?”

Living in a new season of life, I have more space to tease out these kinds of questions. No longer do they rise inside of me, only to be swept away by the next item on my to-do list. With Sam in Heaven and Brooke away at college, the demands on my energy and attention have lessened. Therefore, allowing me space to ponder and soak up the wisdom that comes from everyday life. So, in my attuned frame of mind, I worked to reveal what the Holy Spirit told me I needed to see.

blog 1First, my eyes fixated on the father/daughter combo having fun in the sea. No longer did the little girl cry. Instead, she wore a smile that caused her cheekbones to touch the outside corners of her almond shaped eyes. Squeals of laughter and delight filled the heated air as her father tossed her up above the crests of the incoming waves. Her initial intimidation with the overwhelming body of water had given way to a relaxed posture while held in her father’s protective arms.

Sweetly, silently the lesson I was to learn eased into my soul.

“How many times have I acted like that little girl?” I asked myself.  Even as an adult, I have put on such a show.

Comfortable, contented, and complacent, I pitch a fit when God points me in a new direction. Not trusting when He moves me away from my easy-go-luck environment that surely, the place He is leading me will be overflowing with abundance. So many times, I have behaved like that youngest sibling, kicking and flailing when swept away from what’s familiar to try something new.

I had hours in the shadows of a glowing sunset to lean into what I was to learn. As the afternoon eased into a cooler evening, I gleaned the wisdom everyday life has to offer.

See, I believe the adoring dad wanted to share the wonders of the ocean with his cherished daughter. That is reason he returned to the beach and scooped her up, without asking. Actually, it was his job as a pareblog 4nt to always enhance her experience of living. He knew the added joy the ocean would bring. Despite her hesitation and unhappy reaction, he knew what lay ahead was better. In addition, he knew she would like, if she just gave it a chance. Gently he carried her to something more wonderful. When he decided to test her trust by dipping her toes in the bubbling waters below, he never let her go.

As so it is with our Heavenly Father, often He asks us to relinquish our comfort zone. So that, he can lead us to a richer environment. We kick and scream against change and fuss because we become worried about our future. Gently, he carries us as we struggle against what He knows is best, never letting us go as we come to peace with our new place.

Who knew a little girl playing in the sand could teach me so much?

Lord, 

Please forgive me when I choose to kick and scream with every new thing you ask me to do. Help me to rise into your arms willingly and embrace the constant wonder, joy, and excitement you offer. If I start feeling a little scared of what is to come, please cover me with your peace.

I give thanks for the Holy Spirit that stands ready to bring me closer to you. Everything you do, whether we like it or not, understand it or are confounded by it, welcome it or want to walk away from it is for our good. Help me to remember this, so I can step into the abundant living you have promised. 

I ask these things in the sweet name of Jesus.  Amen!

For her …. For Him.

Published on by Elizabeth1 Comment

liz's library 2

Each of my “off of work” days, allows me to take a few steps closer to JustDoToday.org, what it will be, who it will serve. Those are the days that are spent thinking, reflecting and remembering, finding ways to filter what is stored in my head and heart and then pouring that experience into other persons. I’m learning to leave those spaces open, without an agenda, so the task list can be created by someone greater than myself.

Lately, there are times when those that surround me push up against my surrender, lessening the importance of listening, wondering when I will do the next thing. Today, my “to-do” list blinks in the back left quadrant of my brain screaming to be sort and recorded and completed. As, there are terrifying yet, fulfilling steps upon me. However, I’m going to ignore that urge and instead, share a book I once read.

Circumstances in my community press upon me. A tragedy has occurred that stings the souls of some of those I do life with, as well as myself. “What do I do? What is the best way to help?” , “I just want to share with someone that knows.” are the string of texts that have been typed.

In those quiet hours of today, I stared at my bookshelf and knew what to share,

I Will Carry You

Angie Smith was eighteen weeks pregnant with her fourth daughter. Audrey Caroline, when her doctors discovered conditions leaving Audrey “incompatible with life.” Faced with the decision whether to terminate the pregnancy, Angie and her husband chose to carry Audrey for as long as she had life. This began what turned out to be three months of loving and carrying a little girl that was not expected to live more than a few minutes.

Beth Moore, best selling author and speaker, summarizes, “This is a beautiful and tender book that would touch any woman’s heart, no matter her age or realm of experience. It is about a relationship so intimate with God that it carves a safe place for crises of faith, for faith proved genuine, and for divine callings willed, sealed and fulfilled.”

Some of Angie’s thoughts tucked into my heart :

She doesn’t explicitly tell Him the solution (the story of Mary, Martha and Lazarus) she is looking for but rather states the problem and waits to see what He will do about it.

As I read their words, it occured to me that this is not the way I approach the Lord with a crisis. I run to Him with a laundry list of suitable responses and beg Him to accommodate me.

“Heal her heart, Lord.”

“Make her kidneys work.”

“Let her live.”

I am pretty comfortable saying He is in complete control until the ground grows weak beneath me. At that point I tell Him what He should do to fix it. While I know there isn’t anything wrong with asking God to intervene, there is a gentle surrender that I was drawn to in this story.

Recognize who He is – kyrios (the early Christians confessed Jesus Christ as their Lord, Master instead of emperor, derived from kyros, power might) – and tell Him the problem.

Leave the rest to Him.

As we will discover, there is always room for doubt wherever God has made a way for faith. Yet in this moment Mary and Martha simply called out to Him.

I sat, humbled, as many I love spoke wisdom over me, and I admitted to myself that I was going to need help to get through this season of life.

And so the rain fell, the wipers wiped, and the Lord listened, I let Him into a place I had never fully invited Him before. A place of communion where I could rest knowing He heard me. A place I would reside for months to come.

What an atrocious club to join.

People constantly ask me how it is that I am not angry with the Lord. My honest answer is that I have been angry, and I have been disappointed. What I have not been, and what I refuse to be, is disbelieving. However easy it may be to allow myself to wail over my loss, it is a far more satisfying thing to believe that all of this is a brief season. The Lord I have placed my trust in tells me that I will see my child again, and while He stands besides me, He weeps. He doesn’t weep at the barren ground, nor does He weep the browning branches. He cries because I can’t see what He can. And in the fluttering of the breeze, with my heart pressed to His, I can hear Him whisper, “Spring will come, my love.”

I was going to have to make some hard choices about my walk with Him. i couldn’t go on living it out the way I wanted to, the safe way. It was time for me to let down my hair, give it all away, and spend spreading word of the glorious riches with which He had blessed me. But she died right? She did.  And to be truthful, I wish it handn’t been this way. As a Christian, I know that I am called to glorify the Lord no matter the circumstances, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to make sense.

He gives and takes away. Have I moments of genuine questioning where I blamed myself and anyone I could? Yes. But when those thoughts come, and they will, we must make a choice about who we will be from this day forward. Either we will go through life as bitter servants, or we will make Him famous with our love. I want Him to be famous!

IMG_5111Exclamation marks, underline and written thoughts are scored in the sidelines on just about every page. Remembering, as I read how many of Angie’s thoughts I shared and gaining wisdom through the others I hadn’t had. While searching for hope through the stories of scripture Angie reads the account of Lazarus, bringing a sweet balm to her hurting heart. Hence, she weaves her faith-filled story of Audrey Caroline with a biblical story about the truth of Heaven. By writing about what she experiences, Angie is helping us to understand how better to cope with loss and disappointment.

May you read the book and be blessed!

Quotes, Creeds and Other Words of Wisdom

Published on by Elizabeth1 Comment

final cathartic quotes image

I’m a nerd and I know it! No longer am I going to hide from my love of words and excitedly looking up their definitions to know their origin and understand their meaning.

Trying to figure out a way to share some of the sentences that have impacted my heart, I researched the word “cathartic”. I thought the word had something to do with “action” (i.e. – catalyst) and healing. Thinking I had the gist but, wanting to assure I was using the word the correct way. Actually, the meaning was better than I thought:

Catharsis (from the Greek κάθαρσις katharsis meaning “purification” or “cleansing”) is the purification and purgation of emotions—especially pity and fear—through art or any extreme change in emotion that results in renewal and restoration

Ooooo, I liked it. This word describes what some of the words that I have read had done for me. Alas, the weren’t mine. So, I clarified the word quote:

Quotation is the repetition of one expression as part of another one, particularly when the quoted expression is well-known or explicitly attributed by citation to its original source

Voila, Cathartic Quotes, a spot at JustDoToday.org that allows me to share some of what I have read, that others have said, that had an impact on how I thought which resulted in a purification or renewal of my emotions. Each gathering of words, a grace given, altering my thinking for that day and thereafter. Whether it is a quote, a creed or words of wisdom, I’m going to pass along the reflections of others that helped me along my way.

I knew that how I responded to the accident and functioned as a father would make all the difference in the world to them. They were my “big project.” As it turned out, they were also my redemption, but I didn’t know it at the time.

A Grace Disguised ~ How the Soul Grows Through Grief

Authored by Jerry Sittser