And Yet …

Enjoy and allow the spirit of Christ to rest in you as you read this devotional written by my wonderful friend, Karen Rewerts. 

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This morning, I was reading my devotional and I came across this verse:

“I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me.” Ps. 13:6.

You know how much I LOVE music and singing, and I thought, “How beautiful!”

This was the King James translation, so I decided to look up the verse in my NIV Bible, and it said,

“I will sing the Lord’s praise for He has been good to me.”   

Isn’t that wonderful?!

As I re-read the verse, I realized this was the last verse in Psalm 13 and I thought, “This is a short Psalm.” So I decided to read it from the beginning and it starts with this:  “How long, Lord?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will You hide Your face from me?”

Whoa.

Who goes from “How long,” to “I will sing,” in six verses?

As you might guess, it was David and for four verses, he cries to God.  Not only that, he demands that God look at him and answer him. Then in verse five, he says, “But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.”  Then comes the beautiful verse 6.

David.

David the shepherd boy.

David who killed Goliath.

David the King, chosen by God to lead Israel.

David of the lineage of Jesus.

David, the special man after God’s own heart.

YET…David was human.  David was not perfect and in fact, David did some downright horrible things. And David suffered.  He cried out to God.  He felt terribly alone.  He wrestled with his thoughts.  He was so sad.  David demanded relief from God.  Read Psalm 13 and you’ll see what I mean.

For all David went through, (and he didn’t even know Jesus,) he still chose to trust God.  He chose to rejoice.  And he chose to sing.  Whatever we deal with in this life – this beautiful, tragic, crazy, stressful, amazing experience – we can trust and rejoice and even sing because we know that God is faithful.  We know that God loves us.  We know that God has been good to us.  We know that God is worthy of our song.   And praise God, we have resurrection hope through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Thanks for letting me share.

Karen, thank you for sharing!

Your lesson is livable and your writing is relateable. As well, your love of Christ is contagious! 

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Moving from Grief to Grace …

About a year ago, I met Susan B. Mead.

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Susan B Mead

Quickly, I was captivated by her outgoing and gregarious personality.  Humor sparkled just about every sentence she spoke and a smile grew across her cheeks constantly!

We were gathered together, along with some other ladies for a work session and work we did do! Susan is smart and she was charged with and eagerly shared her professional experiences concerning writing, public speaking and internet blogging. I was all ears and leaned in to receive what she had to say.

Truly, I enjoyed our time of learning that had been laced with laughter!

Indeed, Susan provided a wealth of knowledge I needed.

As our session drew to a close I scooped up my notes, packed away my computer equipment and began to say my goodbyes.

And, that is when this organized exchange of ideas suddenly shifted to a time of inspiration and appreciation!

The last few minutes of time spent at the gathering allowed for more intimate conversations. The attendees mingled with one another and met on a more personal note.

It was then, I learned that Susan and I shared the same painful loss. For her, it was a beloved 21 year old son whose life was lost to a lethal combination of drugs and alcohol. In turn, I exposed the circumstances surrounding the loss of Samantha, my precious 12 year old daughter.

We agreed, the death of a child, regardless of how it happens just plain HURTS!!!!!!!

Thankfully our conversation didn’t end there. Instead, I poised myself as the learner and listener again, leaning in to receive what Susan had to say. She was further into the painstaking ping pong process of lamenting and living.  As well, I figured I could use a tip or two about how to go on.

No longer did her language focus on web page clicks and FB friends.

Instead, her previous instructive tone turned into exuberance as she sang the praises of her Savior, glorifying the God who had saved her from the dark depths of grief and despair!

Her testament was real! She spoke of anguish and heartache! But excitement and a sense of awe overcame her as  she extolled the saving grace and mercy she received from Jesus Christ.

I invite you to hear the same healing message as I did on that day!

Be blessed, allow yourself to be carried and let peace prevail as you read Susan B Mead’s devotional –

Moving From Grief to Grace

March 31, 2015

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

Grief hits each one of us and can come from so many different directions.

A romantic relationship gone awry. The loss of a cherished friendship. A puppy put down. Empty arms and a broken heart due to abortion. Infertility. Abuse. The death of a loved one.

Dreams with a hope and future dashed in an instant. I know. I’ve lived it, too.

A phone call changed my hopes and future as Matt, my older son, wailed into the phone about my younger son, “Kyle died last night!”

 

– See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/moving-from-grief-to-grace/#sthash.gpXF27IO.dpuf

 

Today, Susan’s high spirit and happy heart are offer hope and healing to all who are hurting! 

Thank you Gracious God for your everlasting promise to move us from grief to grace!

What I Have Been Reading …

lizs-library

Immediately, the title caught my attention!

All at once, I knew I needed to read it!

As I sat on my neighbor’s sofa, my sparked curiosity steered our conversation off course.

In the middle of a casual “Q and A” visit concerning the holidays and how they went and where they were spent, I abruptly interjected, “Jan, have you read this book?” 

“Yes, I have!” my enthused neighbor responded.  “It was  so good, I finished it two days!” she added.

Her quick confirmation of quality and content served to solidify my desire to delve into the written work.

Relief  washed over me as  Jan extended her hand and said, “Here, you can borrow this copy.”

Gratitude was my next emotion as I realized a trip to the bookstore wouldn’t be required. Instead, I tidied up the loose ends of our tete-a-tete and hurriedly headed back home. 

As I said goodbye to my friend, I had a very good idea how the next few hours of my time would be spent. Yes, there was a sense of urgency to pull back the cover of the paperback book I had just borrowed. 

Actually, my spirit was begging me to settle down and see what author Nicki Koziarz had to say.

You see, my personal circumstances  were unfolding in such a way, I felt desperate for the message she promised to deliver. The month of December is notoriously loaded with trauma triggers. Add on another huge and unexpected life event and I felt like throwing in the towel. 

Honestly, I was running on empty, until a copy of 

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was placed in my hands.

Praise God for meeting  me right where I was!!

He knew I needed a helping hand!

He knew I needed to hear His voice!

He knew my resolve would be refined through the story of Ruth!

And, indeed it was!

From page 1 to 191, this book is overflowing with lessons to be learned, wisdom to be received and encouragement to be felt. And, all shared through a fresh perspective of the Bible.

Nuggets of sound thinking like:

“A committed woman learns to choose what she wants most over what she wants now.”

“Momentary feelings will always try to convince us to forfeit out faith.”

“Sometimes discouragement is brought on by our own decisions of disobedience.”

are plentiful and poignant.

As well, “The 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit” laid out by Nicki are relatable and sure to bring about results.

As stated on the back cover, “If you are in need of an honest conversation on how not to give in to the temptation to give up”, this book is your best bet!  And, it gets even better because there is a Bible Study offered  as well!

I love how Karen Ehman, New York Times best-selling author of Keep It Shut and LET. IT. GO., Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker, wife, mother, and recovering quitter puts it –

If you are a quitter who longs to quit quitting, this is your God-sent solution!

Amen and I agree!

Be blessed as Nicki’s thoughts breathe words of resolution and refinement into the areas of our lives where we are tempted to throw in the towel!

( When the time is right, when I feel whole and healthy, I think I will be able to reveal my next “Assignment of Refinement.” However, for now I’m choosing to surrender, keep silent and listen to  what Jesus has to say.)

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Lessons in Everyday Life

beach

The sun was shining and the waves were rolling in. David and I sat in lounge chairs, protected from the afternoon heat by a large blue and white striped canvas umbrella. Our seats were angled just a tad, allowing me a bird’s eye view of the family to my right.

Yes, we were at the beach and I was relaxed. The crew next to me, not so much, taking little ones to the beach can turn into a lot of work. I witnessed this as the parents lathered three little bodies with ample amounts of sunscreen. Then, the older boy called out, “Mom, can you help me find my goggles?” I looked on; her shoulders dropped as she pulled herself out of the folding beach chair slung close to the sand. Plodding through the shifting granules of the beach floor, she reach into their overstuffed straw bag and rifled under the brightly colored beach towels. Fumbling her fingers on the bottom of the rattan sack, relieved, she called across to her son, “I found them.” Minutes later her brood of hungry beach goers begged for a snack, along with asking for an ice cold bottle of water. Eventually, everyone was appeased enough to play.

Father and sons frolicked in the waves. Mom stole a few minutes of rest and read a book. Their third child, wearing a sunhat as big as a serving saucer, quietly played in the sand. Her little fingers sifted through the mixture of shiny and matte, tan colored crystals. She poked a plastic shovel into miniature sand dunes and flung what she scochild playing in the sand 2oped up over her soft rounded shoulder. Bowing over her personal playground, she was satisfied and oblivious to the wonder surrounding her. The majesty and motion of the ocean were just steps away. The
seagulls that decorated and danced in the sky were straight above her head. The rays of the sun that warmed the sand were on display behind her back. However, she was calm, content and carefree. Why would anyone want to interrupt such a peaceful scene? Especially one that involved a toddler.

With a peaceful heart, I watched the family drama unfold. The father’s aqua swimming trunks clung to his muscular thighs as he trotted away from the entertainment of the ocean. His quickened steps through the hot sand were aimed towards the youngest of his clan. Without warning and from behind, he tucked one strong hand under the youngster’s pudgy little armpit and slid his other muscular appendage under her diaper clad bottom. Lifting her into his safe embrace, he must have had good reason to disturb her.

Immediately, his daughter didn’t like it. She erupted into a fountain of tears that stung her pink cheeks and rapidly flashed her legs in an attempt to wrangle herself from his firm
dad and little girl in the wavesgrip. I believe, she liked what she was doing and saw no good reason to leave. The father held her tight and took a second to tenderly whisper a few words into her tiny ear. Whatever he said, didn’t work. Despite her two year old protest, he carried her towards the crystal blue waters of the nearby aquatic playground. He knew there were seashells to see, fish to find and the waves offered pure enjoyment, serving up splashes and sprays of cooling mist as they lapped up against the sandy shores. However, the unexpected interruption bringing her to a different place to play was not well received by the independent and absorbed young girl.

Initially, I chuckled at the unnecessary upheaval of an otherwise serene setting. As a mother watching from afar, my first thought was, “You should have just left her alone. She was perfectly happy just playing in the sand.”

Then, the Holy Spirit stood up and clamored for control, posing for battle against my average thoughts. This sacred part of me, which invites me to see the world through the eyes of Jesus began to write it’s version of what was going on across the ticker tape of thoughts passing through my brain. I sensed God was urging me to see below the surface. Within in seconds, I found myself asking,”What should I learn from this scene?”

Living in a new season of life, I have more space to tease out these kinds of questions. No longer do they rise inside of me, only to be swept away by the next item on my to-do list. With Sam in Heaven and Brooke away at college, the demands on my energy and attention have lessened. Therefore, allowing me space to ponder and soak up the wisdom that comes from everyday life. So, in my attuned frame of mind, I worked to reveal what the Holy Spirit told me I needed to see.

blog 1First, my eyes fixated on the father/daughter combo having fun in the sea. No longer did the little girl cry. Instead, she wore a smile that caused her cheekbones to touch the outside corners of her almond shaped eyes. Squeals of laughter and delight filled the heated air as her father tossed her up above the crests of the incoming waves. Her initial intimidation with the overwhelming body of water had given way to a relaxed posture while held in her father’s protective arms.

Sweetly, silently the lesson I was to learn eased into my soul.

“How many times have I acted like that little girl?” I asked myself.  Even as an adult, I have put on such a show.

Comfortable, contented, and complacent, I pitch a fit when God points me in a new direction. Not trusting when He moves me away from my easy-go-luck environment that surely, the place He is leading me will be overflowing with abundance. So many times, I have behaved like that youngest sibling, kicking and flailing when swept away from what’s familiar to try something new.

I had hours in the shadows of a glowing sunset to lean into what I was to learn. As the afternoon eased into a cooler evening, I gleaned the wisdom everyday life has to offer.

See, I believe the adoring dad wanted to share the wonders of the ocean with his cherished daughter. That is reason he returned to the beach and scooped her up, without asking. Actually, it was his job as a pareblog 4nt to always enhance her experience of living. He knew the added joy the ocean would bring. Despite her hesitation and unhappy reaction, he knew what lay ahead was better. In addition, he knew she would like, if she just gave it a chance. Gently he carried her to something more wonderful. When he decided to test her trust by dipping her toes in the bubbling waters below, he never let her go.

As so it is with our Heavenly Father, often He asks us to relinquish our comfort zone. So that, he can lead us to a richer environment. We kick and scream against change and fuss because we become worried about our future. Gently, he carries us as we struggle against what He knows is best, never letting us go as we come to peace with our new place.

Who knew a little girl playing in the sand could teach me so much?

Lord, 

Please forgive me when I choose to kick and scream with every new thing you ask me to do. Help me to rise into your arms willingly and embrace the constant wonder, joy, and excitement you offer. If I start feeling a little scared of what is to come, please cover me with your peace.

I give thanks for the Holy Spirit that stands ready to bring me closer to you. Everything you do, whether we like it or not, understand it or are confounded by it, welcome it or want to walk away from it is for our good. Help me to remember this, so I can step into the abundant living you have promised. 

I ask these things in the sweet name of Jesus.  Amen!

For her …. For Him.

liz's library 2

Each of my “off of work” days, allows me to take a few steps closer to JustDoToday.org, what it will be, who it will serve. Those are the days that are spent thinking, reflecting and remembering, finding ways to filter what is stored in my head and heart and then pouring that experience into other persons. I’m learning to leave those spaces open, without an agenda, so the task list can be created by someone greater than myself.

Lately, there are times when those that surround me push up against my surrender, lessening the importance of listening, wondering when I will do the next thing. Today, my “to-do” list blinks in the back left quadrant of my brain screaming to be sort and recorded and completed. As, there are terrifying yet, fulfilling steps upon me. However, I’m going to ignore that urge and instead, share a book I once read.

Circumstances in my community press upon me. A tragedy has occurred that stings the souls of some of those I do life with, as well as myself. “What do I do? What is the best way to help?” , “I just want to share with someone that knows.” are the string of texts that have been typed.

In those quiet hours of today, I stared at my bookshelf and knew what to share,

I Will Carry You

Angie Smith was eighteen weeks pregnant with her fourth daughter. Audrey Caroline, when her doctors discovered conditions leaving Audrey “incompatible with life.” Faced with the decision whether to terminate the pregnancy, Angie and her husband chose to carry Audrey for as long as she had life. This began what turned out to be three months of loving and carrying a little girl that was not expected to live more than a few minutes.

Beth Moore, best selling author and speaker, summarizes, “This is a beautiful and tender book that would touch any woman’s heart, no matter her age or realm of experience. It is about a relationship so intimate with God that it carves a safe place for crises of faith, for faith proved genuine, and for divine callings willed, sealed and fulfilled.”

Some of Angie’s thoughts tucked into my heart :

She doesn’t explicitly tell Him the solution (the story of Mary, Martha and Lazarus) she is looking for but rather states the problem and waits to see what He will do about it.

As I read their words, it occured to me that this is not the way I approach the Lord with a crisis. I run to Him with a laundry list of suitable responses and beg Him to accommodate me.

“Heal her heart, Lord.”

“Make her kidneys work.”

“Let her live.”

I am pretty comfortable saying He is in complete control until the ground grows weak beneath me. At that point I tell Him what He should do to fix it. While I know there isn’t anything wrong with asking God to intervene, there is a gentle surrender that I was drawn to in this story.

Recognize who He is – kyrios (the early Christians confessed Jesus Christ as their Lord, Master instead of emperor, derived from kyros, power might) – and tell Him the problem.

Leave the rest to Him.

As we will discover, there is always room for doubt wherever God has made a way for faith. Yet in this moment Mary and Martha simply called out to Him.

I sat, humbled, as many I love spoke wisdom over me, and I admitted to myself that I was going to need help to get through this season of life.

And so the rain fell, the wipers wiped, and the Lord listened, I let Him into a place I had never fully invited Him before. A place of communion where I could rest knowing He heard me. A place I would reside for months to come.

What an atrocious club to join.

People constantly ask me how it is that I am not angry with the Lord. My honest answer is that I have been angry, and I have been disappointed. What I have not been, and what I refuse to be, is disbelieving. However easy it may be to allow myself to wail over my loss, it is a far more satisfying thing to believe that all of this is a brief season. The Lord I have placed my trust in tells me that I will see my child again, and while He stands besides me, He weeps. He doesn’t weep at the barren ground, nor does He weep the browning branches. He cries because I can’t see what He can. And in the fluttering of the breeze, with my heart pressed to His, I can hear Him whisper, “Spring will come, my love.”

I was going to have to make some hard choices about my walk with Him. i couldn’t go on living it out the way I wanted to, the safe way. It was time for me to let down my hair, give it all away, and spend spreading word of the glorious riches with which He had blessed me. But she died right? She did.  And to be truthful, I wish it handn’t been this way. As a Christian, I know that I am called to glorify the Lord no matter the circumstances, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to make sense.

He gives and takes away. Have I moments of genuine questioning where I blamed myself and anyone I could? Yes. But when those thoughts come, and they will, we must make a choice about who we will be from this day forward. Either we will go through life as bitter servants, or we will make Him famous with our love. I want Him to be famous!

IMG_5111Exclamation marks, underline and written thoughts are scored in the sidelines on just about every page. Remembering, as I read how many of Angie’s thoughts I shared and gaining wisdom through the others I hadn’t had. While searching for hope through the stories of scripture Angie reads the account of Lazarus, bringing a sweet balm to her hurting heart. Hence, she weaves her faith-filled story of Audrey Caroline with a biblical story about the truth of Heaven. By writing about what she experiences, Angie is helping us to understand how better to cope with loss and disappointment.

May you read the book and be blessed!

Liz’s Library

Liz's Library 3Still trying to find my voice on this blog, I’m searching for ways to share what I know, where I learned it and how it helped me. Thinking, it is one of the things, I’m suppose to be doing.

There is a passage of scripture that has stuck with me about who to watch and how to walk. It wasn’t one that I was familiar with until I was aware that I needed to learn how to live all over again. What once was, was no more. Samantha was gone and I had to go on.

By God’s grace, I was introduced to a beautiful soul in my own community that had suffered the loss of 2 children. Unbeknownest to her, their first son would be born with a genetic disorder; for the second son, she knew early in utero that he would be born with the same circumstances’ which had the same result. With 2 sons in Heaven, she stood before me, beautiful, bold, tender, compassionate and Christ-like. We were at  a birthday party and she was actually in a celebratory mood. Me, not so much, it was too early in the process. Nonetheless, I took note of her smiles and lighthearted nature. She spoke to me, sharing her story. Telling me she had watched and learned from others that had walked through the fire. Stressing the importance that she do the same for me. Citing Jeremiah 31:21 as her eternal instructions to do so.

Set-up road signs; put up guideposts. Take note of the highway, the road that you take.”

Jeremiah 31:21

Reading is a tool I have in my “trauma” toolbox. Many, many personal stories sit upon my bookshelf. The authors write about their unique circumstances. However, the stories are similar because of the “pain”component; loss, tragedy, sadness, sickness, grief, death, divorce.  Those aren’t the reasons I chose to let their lives enter mine. Trust me, I had enough of that in my own home. What was causing their strife was not what attracted me. Instead, and more importantly it was their hope and healing that I longed for. I knew I wanted to get better, had to get better. Knowing, I needed help to get there. While I was reading, I was working. I gleaned information on how these families handled their loss  and what happened along the way. How they responded in certain situations and reacted when they were asked questions. What they thought and where they placed their trust. Looking forward, how they would live and what would be important. At that time in my life, the families in the books were my personal friends. Those were the people I was sharing similar emotions and experiences with. All of us grasping everlasting promises to enable us continue on. Honestly, by exposing their experiences, they placed their guideposts for me to see.

I know the same set of biblical instructions apply to me. Show and share with others what has been given to me. Liz’s Library will allow me to remember and recall what I learned, from what I read. I imagine each entry to be a book report of sort; outlining the circumstances of other’s stories but, more importantly what I learned from as I read and walked through the fire with them.

Following in their footsteps, I pray I will end up on the other side, just as they did. Able to talk and teach about the fire I walked through. I’m working on that, not quite having arrived where I’m can see “in full” what that will look like or be. As of yet, His complete plan for JustDoToday.org hasn’t been revealed to me. Each day I wrangle, wondering what I’m to do next. Shame on me, I know all I need to do is rest and watch where He leads me. In the meantime, what I can do is pass on what I have read and how it has touched me. Furthering my own progress to peace. As well, following the eternal instructions given to me.

david jeremiah

When Your World Falls Apart ~ Seeing Past the Pain of the Present

by Dr. David Jeremiah

Drawing on his insightful sermon series, renowned pastor/teacher David Jeremiah shares the comfort and hope of the Psalms and how these truths can guide believers through life’s greatest challenges. He includes inspiring real-life stories of people who have struggled with terminal illness, the loss of a child, or the imprisonment of a spouse. Jeremiah interweaves his own journal entries, revealing his battle with cancer and how the Psalms helped to sustain him during the fight of his life. When Your World Falls Apart is an invaluable source of help and encouragement for people facing major obstacles in life.

This was one of the very first books that I read after the accident. The title, “When Your World Falls Apart” caught my attention. A book title exactly explaining my life. The subtitle, “Seeing Past the Pain” gave me hope for the future. I believe I ran out of ink having underlined so much. When I was finished, I remember thinking this is the goal of my thinking. Honestly, my thoughts weren’t there yet but, I was being taught where they should be. Peace was the prize. David Jeremiah laid before me how to label the struggle that comes with suffering and who I could become if I allowed myself to see my story with a heavenly perspective. Some of his thoughts that captured mine:

“His hand gathered me up through the Scriptures and pulled me into His powerful embrace. In the late-night loneliness and lack of sound mind, i found blessed hope.”

“Trials put us in place for that to happen. They are for our benefit, as unwelcome as they are at the time. They make us better men and woman, which makes us more influential men and women who can make a difference for God’s purposes. When you have walked through the fire, people begin to listen to you. When you have the wisdom borne of suffering, you begin to have the tools to accomplish something in the world.

I have let earthly comforts fail you, that, by turning to me, you may obtain everlasting consolation (Thessalonians 2:16, 17)

Depth and wisdom can only come from shadowy valley of tears, sickness, loss, disappointment and broken dreams.

But we are stubborn creatures who struggle to learn. And we learn the least when the sun is shining and when the winds are crisp and life feels good. Peace and prosperity have never provided effective classrooms. Crisis and catastrophe, on the other hand, offer master’s degrees. By the way, that accreditation makes you a Master of Disaster.

“When we begin to praise God, not in response to prosperity but in defiance of misfortune, we align ourselves with the deepest truths of the universe, the place where God dispenses deep wisdom and spiritual maturity. We unleash His victorious power in the world of pain and suffering. We create environments where miracles occur.”

“As terrible as the time was, it was also filled with irrefutable evidence of the presence and grace of God.”

“If a candid journal can be a healthy thing, how much more can an honest prayerful expression be, when we bring our concerns before the Lord?”

“A devoted believer will pray for God’s deliverance from problems, but a wiser one will pray for God’s use of them.”

“The Lord reminds us that the mind is a powerful element in our armory-both weapon and shield. Our thought patterns are crucial in the midst of our difficulties. In the spiritual realm, we must go into battle with our thoughts fixated on Him.”

“Never forget that He has offered us a storehouse of guidance in the field of adversity. We have the answers for how God’s people can face heir trials with courage, faith and hope. That storehouse can be found between the covers of your Bible.”

I could list so many more lines. But, I will stop. So, that others will read the words on their own. Allowing their thoughts and hearts to be healed by the signposts and guideposts laid out before us by others.

Thank you, Dr. David Jeremiah